CIP School in the Phils.

Recognize domestic violence against “MEN” and “WOMEN”

on September 10, 2014

Ravens running back Ray Rice is planning to address the media at 3 p.m. Friday for the first time since he was charged with knocking

I have seen many things on TV, but this is crazy the NFL will not say anything bad about a “BLACK” “MAN” or BLACK WOMAN

That is “OK” a WHITE MAN does anything a little off OMG!!!! “HELL TO PAY” EQUAL!! OK make it all “EQUAL” look at Mickel VICK

DOG fighting!!!OMG he got what a few month’s in the big house!! A woman can strap her kid’s in a car and push the car in a pond of water and people feel sorry for this witch!!!!


The “incident,” as it’s been called, happened in February. Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice beat up his then-fiancée (now wife) Janay Palmer in a casino elevator. Ray Rice told his teammates, and presumably his bosses, that he knocked her unconscious because he was defending himself. At the time, the Ravens tweeted, “Janay Rice says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.” Rice was given a two-game suspension. Now, months later, the Ravens have terminated Rice’s contract. What’s changed?

Proof. This week, TMZ posted a security-camera video of the incident titled “ELEVATOR KNOCKOUT.” CNN described it this way: “Rice punches Palmer. Palmer lunges after Rice, and then Rice hits her again and she falls to the floor.” The visible graphic violence spurred the NFL to do what it should have done months ago and ban Ray Rice. Viral video is apparently what it takes for the NFL to care about players who abuse and assault women. Defensive end Greg Hardy was found guilty of beating up his girlfriend in July, and he still plays for the Carolina Panthers. The legal system has nothing on a few minutes of security-camera footage.

I didn’t watch the video, and I won’t link to it because Janay Rice is not the person who made it public. She didn’t want us to see this. The widely circulated “ELEVATOR KNOCKOUT” footage — and Ray Rice being fired from the NFL as a result — doesn’t make her any safer. It doesn’t help her heal. “No one know the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family,” she wrote on her Instagram account today. “To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday is a horrible thing.” Her words reminded me of Steubenville, and other prominent cases in which photos and videos of sexual assault have been made public and led to prosecutions — and greater awareness of what is often a private crime. But not without emotionally decimating the survivors, who are re-victimized once the photos are made public.

A few years ago, I wrote about Rihanna asking her fans to stop hating on Chris Brown, and how hard it can be to support a woman who, in turn, supports the man who very publicly abused her. In the comments, a woman explained why she returned to her abuser: “People who knew he was abusive asked me why I would go back. My response was always, why not? I felt if no one else cares about my abuse, if everyone thinks he is the victim and asks ‘how long should he be punished,’ then why shouldn’t I forgive him?” Collectively, we do a terrible job of letting survivors know we care about them, no matter what they decide. We don’t talk about what it means for a black woman to call the police on a black man. We don’t acknowledge that seeking a protective order can mean putting up with disparaging comments, and that a woman who calls it “abuse” and tries to leave is putting herself in more immediate danger. We don’t talk about the fact that nobody wants to feel like a victim.


Women aren’t the only victims of domestic violence. Understand the signs of domestic violence against men, and know how to get help.

Recognize domestic violence against men

Domestic violence — also known as intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence against men can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. It can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

It might not be easy to recognize domestic violence against men. Early in the relationship, your partner might seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be controlling and frightening. Initially, the abuse might appear as isolated incidents. Your partner might apologize and promise not to abuse you again.

In other relationships, domestic violence against men might include both partners slapping or shoving each other when they get angry — and neither partner seeing himself or herself as being abused or controlled. This type of violence, however, can still devastate a relationship, causing both physical and emotional damage.


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